i wish zoie will get better soon

i am so worried. i can't think straight. zoie is not feeling well. she had high fever for 3 days and was diagnosed with UTI and an ear infection. these are the 3 letters that really freak me out. i guess i should be thankful that it's not dengue. but she lost weight and she lost all her energy. i hate to see her looking so weak and helpless. i am helpless when she complains that her tummy is aching. we took her to the doctor last wednesday and she had cbc. my daughter was very brave. not a tear was shed during the blood extraction. she also had her urinalysis. i never thought it'll occur again... this UTI. now that she hardly wears diapers... now she's on antibiotics and it'll be a few days before we learn what kind of bacteria is present in her wiwi.

i will be letting her attend her first christmas party later though but they can't attend my office party.

of snow globes and dresses

zoie and aunty kris

i never realized how much that snow globe meant to zoie until we got home without buying it.

Barbie's Christmas Carol is about a performer who was so full of herself. it took 3 fairies of Christmas past, present and future plus the ghost of her aunt to convince and make her realize what Christmas is all about. Barbie tells this story to her sister and gives her a snow globe (with the fairies in it) which turns out to be the same snow globe in her story.

for days, i have been searching for a nice snow globe. yesterday, we went to MOA to celebrate my SIL's birthday. we walked around the mall and we went inside the department store so i can buy zoie a party dress. all the way to the mall from the parking area, she was already asking me to get her a snow globe and that's so hard to find. anyways, we did find a snow globe and it was quite expensive. it was as big as the one in the Barbie movie. it also plays christmas carols and it had a santa inside it. there were cheap ones but it didn't play a song. i wanted to get her the small one... the affordable one but she wouldn't budge. she wanted the santa snow globe. i left adrian and zoie at a corner seat while she hugged the snow globe close to her. there were a lot of people in the mall. i went to look for a dress since zoie declared that "ayaw ko pants. gusto dress." i brought her 4 dresses, 2 were quite small (who am i kidding?) and one for 4 years old and another for 6 years old. i made her wear the size 6 dress. it fit her! it was a little long but the length was okay. it fit her body. it had puffed sleeves. and she didn't want to remove the dress. i had to force her out of it telling her all the time i had to pay for the dress first. she was crying. adrian took this opportunity to take back the snow globe. after paying for the dress, she wore it and she didn't care if she was wearing Dora rubber shoes. she was so happy with the dress saying all the time that she's a princess that i thought she forgot about the snow globe until such time in front of the carousel she started rummaging through our things looking for it. hay naku talaga! until last night she was crying. later i will be going to the mall to look for a snow globe that plays music. never mind the price. if it will make zoie happy, i'll get it. my mom said that i shouldn't spoil her. but she's only 3. maybe if she's 7 and she's forcing me to buy her stuff, maybe that's the time i'll tell her to stop. zoie is still a baby... our baby.

zoie ballet philippines experience at CCP

last saturday, zoie and i went to CCP to watch Ballet Philippines perform. adrian couldn't take us so we rode the jeep and the LRT. i promised zoie that we'll ride the train. i wanted us to take a cab but the traffic was impossible plus i already made a promise to zoie. it took us an hour and a half to get there. i was so tired by the time we got to the theater because in places that seemed dirty for zoie i had to carry her. oh where did she get that kaartehan talaga! we got to our box in the nick of time. the national anthem just finished playing and the orchestra was about to begin their first music. i observed zoie while she watched Coppelia. Ballet Philippines dancers are indeed brilliant. there were moments that the dance made us laugh and zoie was clapping along with the people after every wonderful performance. Coppelia was actually a love story. it was really funny how the male character fell in love with a doll and that became an obstacle to their relationship. zoie wanted a better seat so she transferred to my lap. she never slept during the performance or made a noise. we had to go out though because she needed to go to the bathroom even though she was wearing diapers. there were a lot of people in the theater and also i was surprised to find a lot of kids watching the show. i assumed that most of them were taking ballet lessons because i saw some still wearing tights. zoie was moving her hands and legs in time with the music. i did make her dede though because she whispered, "hungry na ako" during one of the 15 minute breaks. after the show, she couldn't stop mentioning the "ballet dancers" that she saw. we again rode the LRT and the MRT because i asked adrian to pick us up in Makati. a lady gave zoie a toy in the MRT. my daughter always gets freebies from people. in birthday parties, she always has a prize even if she lost the game. we had Dairy Queen blizzard at Glorietta before we asked her tatay to come pick us up. in the car, she copied a dance step from the show and at home, she jumped like the dancers. we were laughing while she showed us her "moves" and looked as though she has already decided that she wants to be a ballet dancer when she grows up. she'll be taking up ballet lessons this summer. zoie didn't want to remove her dress. i had to force her to change to pajamas.

Naughty Zoie

what should a mother do when she finds out that her daughter's teacher asked her daughter to sit because she's one of the naughtiest kids at school? i can't believe that my well-behaved Zoie is now one of the noisiest in class. they were practicing their Christmas presentation and Zoie was dancing her own steps and looking at everything except her teacher. tsk! tsk!

Say Cheese

zoie with pooh and friends
zoie and tink

Oh, Christmas Tree

last saturday, i bought a small christmas tree for zoie. our condo unit is fairly small to accommodate a large tree but because my daughter can now appreciate christmas, we decided to get her, her own tree. of cours, she chose the tree that matches her size. i wanted the bigger one but her tatay wanted the small one also. so, two against one... it was a joy buying small christmas balls and tinsels. zoie fell asleep on the way home. she got to decorate the tree in the morning. i woke up and saw a very excited zoie hanging small christmas balls on her tree. she also discovered that she had small candy cane, pine cone and gifts to hang on her tree. we never really hang christmas decors at home. last year, we spent christmas at hk disneyland. the previous year, zoie was too young to appreciate christmas. we were in bicol. this year, we have christmas lights. everyday, zoie watches the Barbie Christmas Carol DVD plus she sings Oh, Christmas Tree like an opera singer. Lol! As for the gifts, at the risk of her making me open her gifts, we've decided to keep it here at my office for the mean time.

techie zoie

look at our little techie. she gets to use our notebook, ipod and takes one hell of a picture using our digicam.

The Dress

let me tell you about the dress...

when i was single, i used to condemn parents who dress their kids in color combination that i cannot even begin to describe or let kids wear shoes that are not even suited for the type of clothes the kid is wearing. well, maybe parents of babies are guilty of this but parents of toddlers... i apologize for the thought. Zoie is very color coordinated most of the time. she chooses her own clothes but not wear she's going to wear it. she has this favorite dress - the ice cream dress - which we try to hide from her most of the time because if permitted, she would have worn it every single day. every little girl at some point (unless traumatized) feels that she is Barbie or a Disney Princess. in Zoie's case, she is both. wherever she goes, she has to wear a DRESS. even an out of town trip on a whim, at an early hour in the morning, we argue on what she's going to wear. it has to be a dress. so off we went to Tagaytay with her wearing a dress. to save her bambam from freezing over, i had to make her wear shorts underneath. last night, i found her christening dress and since it was only tied at the back with ribbons, i was able to force it over zoie's tall and slim body. again, she danced. Mama! Princess! sometimes, she's butterfly fairy when she's wearing the butterfly wings that we have at home. she hums a tune she learned from Barbie's 12 Dancing Princesses. what a girly girl my daughter has become.

A Friendship Tag

Thank you, Shiela, for this friendship tag. Now I am passing this tag over to Irene, Kiten, Che, Joey, Jeng, Laya and Lith

Shiela, these rules I am copying from your blog:

Here are the rules for this tag:

1. Copy the badge and put it on your blog,
2. Link back who pass you this tag,
3. Spread this tag to at least 7 or more bloggers who you think you are friends with.

And lovely are the blossoms
That are tended with great care,
By those who work unselfishly
To make the place more fair.
And, like the garden blossoms,
Friendship’s flower grows more sweet
When watched and tended carefully
By those we know and meet.
And, if the seed of friendship
Is planted deep and true
And watched with understanding,
Friendship’s flower will bloom for you.

Makati Med ER

zoie gave me pretty much of a scare yesterday. i was in a shoot. i saw my phone ringing and accidentally cancelled a call from our landline phone because i thought i was the one calling. in the middle of the shoot, i got a text from hubby that they're at makati med ER. it's like cold water was splashed on my face. i felt nervous and right away i knew something was wrong with my baby. i called them. hubby said they were observing zoie who suddenly felt normal. she was having tummy aches in the morning and was calling for me, calet said. it's a good thing that my boss is like kidlat in shoots so we finished up early before i excused myself to go to the hospital. a happy zoie ran to me shouting "Mama!" and caused a lot of eyes to look at us. my MIL arrived and i thought, "ano to reunion?" but then i found out SIL is sick also. we took zoie out of the ER and she requested that we go to Jollibee only Mcdo was nearer. my little girl who was complaining of a tummy ache was already ordering sundae. i was so relieved. they dropped me off at the office soon after. hubby and i were talking - umaarte lang kaya si zoie? because both of us are pretty busy lately. haay, guilt-ridden me.

Workaholic Guilt

Sometimes I just hate myself for having a job as toxic as mine. Of course I will never blame Zoie for asking for milk in between 4 and 6 am or a few minutes before I'm scheduled to wake up and mark it as the start of my day. I will never blame her that she asks for milk just when my head hits the pillow because it's not her fault that her mom just got home at 1 am or just finished transcribing an interview at 5 am. It is my life-long wish to become a stay-at-home mom but then I really am not sure if I could handle it because my body is programmed for a different kind of stress. These days I leave the house with her asleep and I come home finding her already asleep. So, what's new with that? My mom tells me that I should get enough sleep for me to function well. I do function well but sometimes even in sleep I think about my work. This is the reason why sometimes I feel so guilty leaving Zoie under the care of Calet. Sometimes I just wonder if this is all worth it. That I'm only feeding this selfish need to be doing my job and not investing enough time for the family. Zoie will be young only once.

Oh well, I'm off to another set-up... another event. I wish Christmas is here. I will be a full time mom for two whole weeks.

The Next Zoie

I can't tell you how disappointed my mom was when I told her this morning that she should expect her next apo on 2011. "What? 2011 pa?" The change in her expression almost made me smile and she went to our room to check on Zoie grumbling "matanda na ako at hindi ko na maaalagaan yung susunod. Hindi ka na magkakaanak sa ganyan katagal kasi ang taba mo na... blah... blah..." (in Bicol). Well, Adrian and I have reasons on why having another baby should be carefully planned. Personally, all things aside, I really would like another child asap. I mean, Zoie is now 3 years old and that's the decent gap between siblings according to Family Planning. But then when we were anticipating Zoie, all our thoughts were centered on having a baby and not on how much it would cost to have a baby. When I gave birth to Zoie at St. Luke's Medical Center, our savings was almost wiped out and hubby as the head of the family felt a bit crippled financially. Not to mention the fact that I was on bedrest for two weeks with expensive meds. Hubby was explaining to me this morning on our way to my office that unless we want our finances to suffer and that if I'd like to give birth in a cheaper hospital, then he'd consider it keeping in mind that we're still paying for our car. It's very hard when you really use your head planning these things. Good thing hubby has his in place. Me, I'm so cluttered. Hubby wants our next child to be as comfy as Zoie. Of course, Zoie right now is more than enough but then, being an only child, I don't want her to end up like me, also an only child. I do hope 2011 is a good year for us because by that time Zoie will be studying in a regular school already.

Sandwich Maker

I taught Zoie how to make sandwiches this morning. She made the peanut butter sandwiches for her tatay's baon. Adrian brings at least three sandwiches for his snacks. Zoie was really into the process of sandwich-making, holding the bread with her little hand, dipping the bread knife into the peanut butter, letting it drip on the bread, spreading and looking at the other bread slice to see if the size matches the other half.

Oh, did I mention that Zoie ate about half a can of Piknik Shoestring Potatoes last night? She eats them like she's eating rice.

My Little Adult

I don't know why every single time I try to post something new in this blog, I get writer's block. Maybe it's because I'm getting confused on what to write about Zoie. There's just so much I want to write about.

I had a chance to be a full time mom last weekend. Calet went home to the province for the undas and I'm left to take care of my mag-ama. I made a pretty good start by making pancakes for them. Or rather, I mixed the batter and hubby cooked it perfectly. I tend to murder the pancakes and Zoie might end up with memories of her mom's mangled pancakes.

I never realized how much my baby has grown and how she can now keep up with a flowing conversation. She's now a little chatterbox. When she's not talking to me, she's talking to her toys. She only stops talking when hooked on an ipod or when asleep.

We went to Zambales that weekend and I stayed mostly inside the room at the second floor. Zoie wanted to go downstairs. We ate breakfast. Because of the heat and the food, there were flies everywhere. Zoie was grumbling and pointing at the stairs. She pulled at my hand.

Me: Baby, you said you wanted to stay here and now that we're here, why do you want to go up?
Zoie grumbling: Punta na taas.
Zoie looked uncomfortable but didn't want to say why. Suddenly...
Zoie: taas na tayo. ang daming langaw eh.

The caretakers and my MIL heard what she said. Haay, how can Zoie be so maarte? You cannot even make her step on the sand or soil. She came running back to me with that "ewe!" expression when she felt that the soil in the garden was a little soft. She ate ice buko at the cemetery and saw the coconut on the ice drop (maybe she thought they looked like worms), felt the sticky melted ice cream on her fingers and quickly handed it over to me saying, "wipes! wipes! (for the baby wipes)" Is this kind of attitude hereditary? People say she got that kaartehan from me. Me?!

This is a weird thing to say but I really appreciate how Calet takes care of Zoie. She is quite a handful. Sometimes she acts like a little adult. I heard feedback from the school that Zoie is always there to help her classmates.

Movies and Stuff

Ambition Day

Yesterday was Ambition Day at FAB Learning Center. Zoie was dressed as a dancer because she told me she wanted to be a dancer. Ken was dressed as a policeman. There were 2 nurses, the very cute Anne looked like she works for Red Cross, 2 doctors, a princess, a race car driver, Drei is really into cars and a teacher. Teacher Yvette was dressed as a cyclist.

They had their usual set of activities but the theme is focused on occupations. Even the story at the end of the school day was about an entrepreneur.

Zoie's worksheet was about the letter B and had a picture of a baker.
The kids had fun playing while in costume. Even the princess was running around.

Zoie's UN Day Celebration

The kids arrived at school in different costumes. Two kids represent a country and my daughter's country was France. All kids brought food representing their country.
Zoie came as a mime artist from France. I would have made her face whiter if she had permitted it.
The kids had their usual set of activities and I'm quite surprised that Zoie already knows the meaning of "agenda".
Little Zoie is keeping up.
They had a Japanese teacher, Teacher Yoko (I'm not sure if this is her name really) who taught them origami and how to use the chopsticks.
The buffet consisted of food representing different countries.
Corn?
My little mime artist had fun at the monkey bars after snack time.
The kids watched some videos.
Group picture. Too bad Drei didn't make it.
Finally, it's goodbye time. I can't wait for tomorrow. It's their Ambition Day and Zoie's coming as a ballet dancer. I wanted her to come dressed as a photographer but she'd rather be a dancer. She told me so.

lost files?!!

mini me... only worse

last night, i bought face paint for zoie. she's going to be my little mime artist later because she's representing France. i bought 3 loaves of french bread at French Baker and had 1 loaf sliced. she was excited with the face paint. i couldn't find an all white palette so i settled for the 4 color makeup. i told her not to touch the white paint. she nodded. i was on the phone talking to my mom and she was looking at me. then i saw her trace her fingers on the other colors then trailed it across the white paint! i was indignant. i asked her why she broke her promise. my mom was laughing at the other end of the line. zoie looked at me defiantly and moved her arms on the sofa and the makeup cover fell on the floor. i asked her to pick it up. she refused. i was staring at a miniature of myself... na mas malala. ever heard of the saying that your child reflects you... only worse. i looked at her angrily. she tried to stare me down then broke into sobs... ran to my cousin, hugged her and told her to pick up the makeup cover. nang-utos pa. i asked calet not to hug her, aabuso. then her tatay went out of the room because he heard her crying ang picked her up. aba, i was the enemy. the three of them against me. but then she went out of the room again and i went to get her and said i was sorry. i know that was wrong but i couldn't just stand her and break her little heart. the ending? calet got the makeup cover, zoie refused to go to the room because she was "nood pa ako" ng TV, i read my book and hubby watched his favorite TV series on the ipod because no one can touch the TV but zoie.

Zoie the Mime Artist

tomorrow, zoie will be celebrating UN day at school. the country she was assigned to is France. costumes are not required but i'd like her to come to class as a mime artist. i bought her a long sleeved striped shirt and a beret. she will bring with her loaves of french bread or croissant. i'm not sure yet. they have a Japanese guest who will teach them how to use chopsticks. i am going to take the half day off from work. i've thought about this for a few days. i don't want to be the parent who was always present at school but what the heck, it's her first UN day celebration so i will take a lot of pictures. i'm so excited.

how an outfit can generate these reactions

*and all i did was buy her the leotard and tights... and did you notice the froggy bedroom slippers?

Zoie's House

this is zoie's doll house and i'm glad that she chose this when her lola took her to toy kingdom and asked her to pick the toy she liked most. if not for this house, zoie will think that a house looks like a building. we live in a building, by the way. i don't want her to have a wrong perception of what a house looks like.

Parental Ambitions

Okay, so i gave you a scary picture there in my previous post... barney the predator, growl!!! hahaha! Sorry for that! Zoie is scared of Jack O' Lantern and I had to kiss that pumpkin to show her that he's not scary at all. Ssshhh... I was a little freaked out as well.

Last night, I bought Zoie a ballet leotard. Although I haven't enrolled her to any ballet classes yet, I figured this can be her "what I want to be when I grow up" costume because she's always dancing around the house and hey, it was 50% off! personally, i don't want her to be a dancer though. I also don't want her to become a producer like her mom (moi!) and her tatay doesn't want her to become an IT person. Weird ba? But in the end it'll be her decision. I recognize my child's gift in taking pictures. At 2, she learned to use the digicam and now that she's 3, we're allowing her to take pictures of us and of everything from flowers to blank things like the wall. Lol! She takes pictures of her dolls and even reminds me to put the strap around my wrist so the camera won't fall to the ground.

I have a lot of respect for cameramen whether the medium is film, video or the classic - photography. I admire their eye for detail and the way they create the mise-en-scene. In my heart, I hope Zoie will develop her eye for detail. Admit it, some people who are already old still couldn't take good pictures. I know some. Lol! Wait... wait... am I wishing for my kid to become a film maker? Well, I'm not sure really but I hope she'll know what she wants before college.

*Zoie took this picture

Barney the Predator

Will this picture traumatize your child and damage him/her for life?


Apparently not for Zoie. This was the scene that Zoie witnessed when she entered the bedroom a few days before her birthday. Zoie looked at Barney with wide eyes and a hint of horror... stared at it for a few seconds and then laughed. I didn't know how to react to this. Adrian obviously had fun setting up the scene, introducing Barney as the predator just like his ancestors. A few minutes before that, I was explaining to Zoie that Big Barney was little Barney's father.
Those who know us well would probably just laugh it off but those who don't will probably say, this is one sick family. Lol! But wait, I woke up to this scene this morning and I was a bit traumatized.
Don't blame me. I love Spongebob!