Monday, May 24, 2010

first movie without me

today hubby and zoie went out to watch Shrek in 3D. baby and dad bonding moment while i walk around aimlessly inside Ikea, Courts and Giant. hubby said zoie suddenly told him she misses me. five months is a big chunk of her growing up period for me to be so away from her.

Sunday, May 23, 2010


tomorrow i will be moving to a new room here in Singapore. this is where my husband and i will stay for a few months and prepare for the downpayment for an hdb apartment. i really missed my daughter today. there was a 2 year old baby girl at my flat and she was like half filipino. she showed all her books and toys to me and seemed to really like me. it gave me a sinking feeling... just a few more months and zoie will be here. a few more months. it's been a month since i last hugged and kissed her. it's been a few days since i talked to her. i wish it's already august.

Friday, May 21, 2010

the day I left my daughter

it's very hard for me as a mother to just pack my bags and leave my daughter behind. i've been very stressed and unhappy with my former job that i've been unable to update any of my blogs. i was thinking about how stressed i was and if i was ever going to give my daughter a bright future. things actually have been happening so fast lately that it felt like a blur.

april 17 - my husband and i took my mom, zoie and her nanny to the bus station. i talked to zoie a few days before and told her no matter what don't look for mama. i told her she will be going to Bicol during school break and to visit her dogs. she was very happy. i heard the sound of glass breaking when she went up the bus and realized it was my heart breaking. but she was there waving goodbye to --- so happy.

my husband and i went home and i was just there --- empty.

april 18 - at about 2 am, my husband took me to the airport. it was the day i left for Singapore. not knowing what the future holds. i was crying to my husband but there was no choice. i wanted to do something else with my life. so i was actually not so sad because first i was nervous that the Singapore immigration will question me on why i wanted to stay for 26 days in Singapore as a tourist.

same day, my friend fetched me at the airport. i was so amazed at how clean Singapore was. i immediately fell in love with the place and thought to myself, i will raise my daughter here.

i went shopping with my friend and her husband. actually, they went shopping and i tagged along. i was so amazed with Singapore that i didn't think much about being so so so very far away from my family. my husband was in manila, zoie was in the province and i was in another country.

the following day i sent my resume to several job openings. we bought a day old newspaper the day before so i was able to look at the job openings. same day i got an interview invitation and the next day i got hired. whew! okay so the next step was to get a pass. my boss who turned out to be so wonderful wanted me to start first week of May and wanted me to start soon. so the events were actually happening almost simultaneously and i was very, very stressed again that my work pass will not get approved. but it did.

step by step but i cannot say things have been happening slowly. in a month's time i've been able to activate my epec which allows me to stay in Singapore to look for a job and i heard not everyone gets approved. woot! also apply for e-extend because i'm also stressed that i might get deported but they say when your pass is approved stay is not an issue and most importantly my pass allows me to get my family to live with me in Singapore.

i am very blessed i should say. even if distance sets me and my daughter apart i can see her going off to college in another country. i can see her having a bright future ahead. i can see her arriving in Singapore this August.