A Friendship Tag

Thank you, Shiela, for this friendship tag. Now I am passing this tag over to Irene, Kiten, Che, Joey, Jeng, Laya and Lith

Shiela, these rules I am copying from your blog:

Here are the rules for this tag:

1. Copy the badge and put it on your blog,
2. Link back who pass you this tag,
3. Spread this tag to at least 7 or more bloggers who you think you are friends with.

And lovely are the blossoms
That are tended with great care,
By those who work unselfishly
To make the place more fair.
And, like the garden blossoms,
Friendship’s flower grows more sweet
When watched and tended carefully
By those we know and meet.
And, if the seed of friendship
Is planted deep and true
And watched with understanding,
Friendship’s flower will bloom for you.

Makati Med ER

zoie gave me pretty much of a scare yesterday. i was in a shoot. i saw my phone ringing and accidentally cancelled a call from our landline phone because i thought i was the one calling. in the middle of the shoot, i got a text from hubby that they're at makati med ER. it's like cold water was splashed on my face. i felt nervous and right away i knew something was wrong with my baby. i called them. hubby said they were observing zoie who suddenly felt normal. she was having tummy aches in the morning and was calling for me, calet said. it's a good thing that my boss is like kidlat in shoots so we finished up early before i excused myself to go to the hospital. a happy zoie ran to me shouting "Mama!" and caused a lot of eyes to look at us. my MIL arrived and i thought, "ano to reunion?" but then i found out SIL is sick also. we took zoie out of the ER and she requested that we go to Jollibee only Mcdo was nearer. my little girl who was complaining of a tummy ache was already ordering sundae. i was so relieved. they dropped me off at the office soon after. hubby and i were talking - umaarte lang kaya si zoie? because both of us are pretty busy lately. haay, guilt-ridden me.

Workaholic Guilt

Sometimes I just hate myself for having a job as toxic as mine. Of course I will never blame Zoie for asking for milk in between 4 and 6 am or a few minutes before I'm scheduled to wake up and mark it as the start of my day. I will never blame her that she asks for milk just when my head hits the pillow because it's not her fault that her mom just got home at 1 am or just finished transcribing an interview at 5 am. It is my life-long wish to become a stay-at-home mom but then I really am not sure if I could handle it because my body is programmed for a different kind of stress. These days I leave the house with her asleep and I come home finding her already asleep. So, what's new with that? My mom tells me that I should get enough sleep for me to function well. I do function well but sometimes even in sleep I think about my work. This is the reason why sometimes I feel so guilty leaving Zoie under the care of Calet. Sometimes I just wonder if this is all worth it. That I'm only feeding this selfish need to be doing my job and not investing enough time for the family. Zoie will be young only once.

Oh well, I'm off to another set-up... another event. I wish Christmas is here. I will be a full time mom for two whole weeks.

The Next Zoie

I can't tell you how disappointed my mom was when I told her this morning that she should expect her next apo on 2011. "What? 2011 pa?" The change in her expression almost made me smile and she went to our room to check on Zoie grumbling "matanda na ako at hindi ko na maaalagaan yung susunod. Hindi ka na magkakaanak sa ganyan katagal kasi ang taba mo na... blah... blah..." (in Bicol). Well, Adrian and I have reasons on why having another baby should be carefully planned. Personally, all things aside, I really would like another child asap. I mean, Zoie is now 3 years old and that's the decent gap between siblings according to Family Planning. But then when we were anticipating Zoie, all our thoughts were centered on having a baby and not on how much it would cost to have a baby. When I gave birth to Zoie at St. Luke's Medical Center, our savings was almost wiped out and hubby as the head of the family felt a bit crippled financially. Not to mention the fact that I was on bedrest for two weeks with expensive meds. Hubby was explaining to me this morning on our way to my office that unless we want our finances to suffer and that if I'd like to give birth in a cheaper hospital, then he'd consider it keeping in mind that we're still paying for our car. It's very hard when you really use your head planning these things. Good thing hubby has his in place. Me, I'm so cluttered. Hubby wants our next child to be as comfy as Zoie. Of course, Zoie right now is more than enough but then, being an only child, I don't want her to end up like me, also an only child. I do hope 2011 is a good year for us because by that time Zoie will be studying in a regular school already.